Blog Makeover

Blog makeover is canceled.

Why???

There is nothing to makeover... Sadly.

I looked over it and yes deleted the first post and toned down the vulgar language but other than that, I believe in what I wrote. I was shocked actually how some commenters really misjudged my posts. Some comments made me believe that I actually wrote in a judgmental manner, which I couldn't see when I went back and read them.

Yes, I have changed but I still believe in what I wrote, therefore I am keeping my blog the way it is with just a few minor changes. I wish there were things to change but there wasn't.

And readers,

Don't get me wrong, I want as many people out there to read my blog and comment but please don't get carried away. I'm not fighting you with my words. I'm not trying to make you believe in what I believe in. It's a blog folks...not me running to take over the world and telling you how I'm going to change it. No need to get scared and all. Like seriously some of the comments I get I don't even know where it's coming from but on the other hand, some commenters are great and they actually have an argument and great facts that make me think and sometimes even change my mind on things. These commenters are sometimes harsh but I appreciate it.

So from now on back up your comments with something real so instead of defending myself I could instead clarify.



Thank you.

Answering My Supposed Ideal Man.......Anonymous

For his comment please look under "The Fear of Successful Women"

I am not sure if you will read this for you said you may never read my blog but just because I feel a need to respond, I will. You get your own post. How exciting!

Now, my whole entire blog is misleading to the readers and I don't know why that is. The WHOLE ENTIRE BLOG IS MISLEADING...to the readers that is. Sorry for the caps I’m making sure you got that. I see that now and I am going to do a WHOLE BLOG MAKEOVER.

One thing I want to make clear to you and to everyone else is that I am not talking about Libyan men. I am talking about Arab men. I love Libyan men. I love Libya and when and if I get married it will be to a Libyan man who was born and raised in Libya. Who is chauvinistic, temperamental, and shows me whose boss. I might even go down and live there. I have no idea why you would think I meant Libyan men. Surprised? You should be. I don’t think you know me that well! I will explain in another post.

Now as I have recently wrote I have changed my outlook and my opinions on things. I have sincerely apologized to ALL who have read this blog and started gagging on my absurd and delusional notions. If I could give a public apology I will do so in haste.

I am not sure if I should be laughing but I am not arrogant nor am I conceited. I may be very proud and very confident but it is not overpowering, at least to me. Now when did I ever mention that Libyan women are pathetic because you are giving me the impression I said so. I have Libyan women friends who are as strong as me maybe even stronger, who have ambitions, self-respect and are even more beautiful than me. I know my mothers Libyan friends who are married to Libyans and they are just the same. I love them. When did I ever trash them? If I did it was meant for ALL women who let men take charge of their lives. That’s when I have a problem but then again it’s their life. The thing is when these women complain, that’s when I get mad. For me its basically do something about it. I know it may not be easy but people should be aware of this and stop it for themselves before it gets out of hand.

So you see to those women who are living fantastically and love their lives: Bravo to them. If they are happy with their chauvinistic jerks of a man, good for them. I’m happy for them because as long as their happy there is nothing to say about them. Didn’t I ever mention that? If I am ranting and raving it’s not about people who are happy with their lives it’s about people who are unhappy with their lives. If they don’t have the same opinions as me that’s fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. My opinions are not rules and yes, I do make it sound as if what I say should go but it is not to be taken like that.

I love Bazeen by the way and the thing is I am shocked that you think I ditched my culture for something materialistic. There are times where I wish I could be like those women whose jobs are just to take care of the family and their house. There are many times where I look at Arab families in their Arab countries and wish I could have their lives. When I went to Libya my whole life changed. I look at the world with a new pair of eyes. Families that are tight nit and loving are a dream for me and if I had to trade the lifestyle of my ambitions for that I would. I want to live the Libyan culture life. I want to be on the floor stirring the dough of Bazeen. I want to do things that make my husband happy. I want that. And despite my high-class attitude you will be surprised with what’s inside me. What my deepest wishes are.

I’ll be the first to admit I have issues. Everyone does and like everyone else I am entitled to express my opinions and like you, I don’t believe I should convince the world to follow my way of thinking. Influence is a whole other thing. One gets influenced if only their own opinions and thoughts are not strong and that is not my problem to deal with.

You actually bring up a very good point. Anti-Islamic. Islam is my religion. There is nothing more important to me then to follow my religion. And as terrible as this sounds, there are some okay many things I believe in that clash with Islam. Now, that doesn’t mean I go run and do these things but I try my best to do them without crossing over the thin line of halaal and haram. If one is not able to do that, stay very far from my beliefs.
It’s complicated but I know I am not anti any of what you mentioned. I’m just tired of the destruction in this world.

I feel that if one just followed their religion we wouldn’t be having this many problems. But because culture and ones nefse, society and all that comes into play, the world goes upside down. The thing is, this is life and we are not able to change it so no, I don’t feel my ways are better for social change. Far from it actually. My previous posts are a bunch of b.s to tell you the truth. Why? Because of all the misconception and misleading information. I don’t think my opinions are very clear but don’t worry I’ll be doing a makeover for my blog.

I read over some parts of my blog and seriously there are parts where I cringe. There are good points I have written but I don’t think I’m being very clear on what I seriously believe in. My ego: hiki kuburha (Too bad my hands can’t even reach that far).

I feel bad you wouldn’t want people reading my posts and maybe you have a point there and maybe you are right, the issues I expressed are significant but not how I am expressing them. Language is a weapon. A very strong one. Not stronger than action but strong enough. I should take my time to think what other people might get from it. I changed my way of thinking, not because of you but I am excited to share it with everyone.

I do hope you will be visiting my blog again who knows maybe you’ll like my other posts. But I’m doing this for me. I wanted to change my blog anyways. My opinions were getting out of hand somewhat. Hopefully the coming Monday I will start on the makeover!!!

Thank you for your input.

Words of a Broken Heart......

These past couple months have been an eye opener for me. I have learned more in these past few months than I have learned in years. It takes a calamity to really open one’s eyes. It’s a sad fact of life. The thing is some people understand the lesson that must be learned from the misfortune and some people don’t. I am glad I am from the ones that learn from mistakes and dreadful experiences.

I have actually been battling a few issues and hope to come up victorious. Of course one of those issues is men and of marriage; the others of Islam in general. I have grown up and changed my ways of thinking on certain matters. This is all due to someone……..

The first is my take on men. Arab men I want to sincerely apologize for criticizing you all for your behavior, morals, and your chauvinistic attitudes. I now believe you are who you are and you are free to be what you want to be. Who am I to say one way of thinking is wrong when there are people out in the world who are absolutely fine with it and who can appreciate it. Who am I to say one must live according to my principles when there are people who are living just fine. My take is that if you are not happy, change yourselves do not change others. I realize I am always trying to fix someone else. To change someone else but forget myself. I forget to work on myself for I am not perfect just like anyone else. I believe it is not my concern about how other people are living when I could better the way I am living. I am not saying that I am through with telling people how I think because I believe my opinions do matter just like everyone else’s and we should all help the world become a better place but I used to take that to an extent where other people lives overruled mine and what I say should go. So it was destroying me in the process because not only do I have to think about and deal with my own problems, I have to deal with everyone else’s and it frustrates me to no end when people don’t think the way I do. It is very tiring actually. I have now learned that being happy with yourself is most important and it is you who shape your outlook on life not others. So basically instead of dying inside because my friend isn’t the best person she could be or that the man I care about has issues I need to just accept the fact that not everyone is perfect and those issues are not mine to deal with and of course everyone has their own opinions in life, none right non wrong.

Another thing I have learned is relationships are a waste of time before marriage. I never did believe in relationships before marriage and still do not. It makes one think about Islam that’s for sure. I do believe that your sins will catch up with you one day. So yes, I have learned a lot. Relationships are out of the question and should be out of the question for all Muslims. Sins will add up and make your life miserable. You wonder why so many people are miserable and now you know. Sins are our worst enemy in this life so beware. Make tawba and ask for forgiveness and start over. Allah is the most forgiving and gives many chances to those He loves.

Allah also tests us. To see how patient we are. To see if we will turn to him for support. To help us come back to him when we forget. Allah has a way of showing things to us, making us learn, making us think. Tests like what I’m going through makes us believe that Allah sees everything, knows everything, and does what he wills. Not one of us could change what is already written and cannot escape Allah’s punishment if it is willed upon us. Allah truly does know best and he knows what’s best for us. Things that we believe are not good for us could end up being the best for us. Things that we believe are the best for us could end up being the worst for us. That is why we must believe in Allah; put our trust in Allah, and whatever is meant to be will be. Whatever lesson Allah wants taught will be taught. I am closer to Allah than I have ever been in my life. Instead of being mad at the world, I put my trust in Allah and I believe He knows what He is doing even though I can’t see it. All I can do is pray and be patient.

One more thing is to believe in yourself. Trust yourself for you know what’s best for you. Allah is the only one who knows more about you than you do. That’s why you must follow your heart and head not just anyone’s advice and must ask for Allah’s help before anyone else. This strong connection with Allah is what is helping me through this and trust me if I could just brush this incident off like nothing I would. I tried with no success. Allah wants me to learn from this and trust me I’m definitely learning.

Basically I’m saying to be careful in what you do. This life is made up of a bunch of tests. You either pass it or fail. If you put your trust in Allah and be patient you will overcome anything no matter how big or small. Don’t wait until a calamity falls over you. Start now. Strengthen your bond with Allah as soon as possible. You never know He might save you from enduring a calamity that was coming your way and remember Allah never burdens us with more than we could bear. And yea, non-Muslims could learn from this too.

ps: April 11th post will be reevaluated ;)