A Sneak Peak In My Life

As you all know I am a Muslim and as a Muslim woman I do cover my hair. Through the years I have been hearing stories about how difficult it is for Muslim woman who wear a headscarf to get a job. In all honesty, I don’t believe it’s more difficult then the next person because of wearing the headscarf. I believe it is all about personality and work ethic. Yes, I do believe looks play a huge part in some jobs, I just don't believe a headscarf takes you down some points on the looks scale. If anything it adds!! :) I guess it all depends really. Of course I would not know first-hand since I haven’t really tried getting a job. I know I have tried at my school with no problem but I haven’t really had a chance to test the outside world. Never had a need to. But now that I finally came to my senses and realize that if I want to get anywhere in life I better get on with it and start getting some experience in my industry. Yes, I do have a lot of knowledge about my industry and what it pertains and the things that go with it but first-hand experience is not that much at all. Breaking into my industry is not easy; experience, time, patience, talent, and commitment are key. I pretty much have all that except for experience. I feel that being a Muslim woman is the cause of that with the help of my parents of course. Anyways I now feel it is time to gain that experience no matter what I have to do to get it. So the first on the list was calling a vast amount of companies to see if they need any help with anything, if they have any internships, and if I can at least job shadow if all else fails. So I get the numbers and everything I need and start calling. First call, second call, millionth call and nothing. Basically what I’m looking for is just not seen in this world. Apparently I can’t be in the building unless I’m getting paid and internships are pretty much at an all time low and since the economy is crap they are not hiring.

So I am sitting there thinking of my next move and realize that I actually do wear a headscarf and for the first time I really wonder if this would really be a problem for some places. I understand brand image. I know the game. I really don’t have an issue with it but I start wondering if the places I would like to be a part of will have a problem with it. After all the stories I hear I should be at least somewhat worried. So I pick up the phone and start calling the same places and basically ask if they have a dress policy and whatnot and then tell them that the reason I’m asking is because I wear a headscarf. The responses I got were definitely in my favor. They said they were more than fine with it and have no problem with it as long as the rest of me was cohesive with the dress policy and that it was against the law to not hire a person because of that. Yes, it was nice to hear that but I really do wonder if their actions match their words. Of course I won’t know unless I try and I should soon enough. I believe they said come March they would start hiring. Other said they would email me if anything comes up. Well that gives me time I guess. Until then though I have to start trying to find things on craigslist maybe, look online for ideas, call local small companies, something, anything!

Marriage Anyone?

I always wonder why people are so obsessed with marriage. To me marriage is the combining of the lives of two people who love, respect, and cherish one another to the point where they can’t bear to be separated. That’s it. That’s what it should be but of course it isn’t. Marriage instead is like a military camp no pun intended. Lucky for me I have an unusual obsession with the military. So basically there is a lot of ups and downs, shouting and yelling, physical pain, emotional pain, fighting, little sleep, lots of baggage, and so on. Ok so marriage isn’t all bad. The thing that I don’t understand though is why we make marriage and love so hard. Why can’t we just have fun and not take it extremely seriously? Maybe that’s why there are so many divorces. People just become so overwhelmed because things are not “perfect”. Things aren’t they way they want it to be. They start finding faults, problems start to arise, you don’t treat each other like you used to, things start to change, you grow apart, you feel like you’re missing out on something, one of you cheats, there’s always fights, you let yourselves go, you forget about each other, and this list can go on and on and on. I mean we need to get a grip on ourselves here. We need to stand back and really look at the whole picture on why this always happens. Maybe because we make it happen. I believe it’s always on us. We need to stop living in La La land and come back to Earth. We need to think logically and not logically like people tell you to think, logically like you tell yourself to think. We need to listen to ourselves first. To me it feels like no one listens to themselves because if we did we wouldn’t be in half the messes we got ourselves into.

So why do we rush ourselves into marriage when we know we are not ready? Especially since we know all the bad things that come out of it? Why can’t we just wait until we fully understand the commitment and dedication marriage takes? Ooo that was trick question. Actually we are never really ready to get married and if you can grasp that fact and understand it and believe in it then you can go get married. This is why I don’t want to see young people thinking about marriage. They have no business thinking about it whatsoever. I find it so unbelievable that young teenagers are asking about marriage, wanting to know about it, trying to get engaged. Um excuse me. I know some of us are Muslims and Islam encourages young marriage but in this time and age I just don’t see it as the best option. I’m ready to get married they say. Please, just because you said that means you’re not.

I actually think marriage is a beautiful thing, don’t get me wrong. A beautiful military camp and I can’t wait until I get married. I believe it’s exciting, scary, and so much fun. And of course this only happens if you marry someone who is within your range of expectations and Inshallah we all do and Inshallah we all have happy and successful marriages. But I believe marriage happens when it’s meant to happen. We all know if God wrote for it to happen it will happen…Until then we all must enjoy life. Oh yeah and it doesn’t hurt to pray for a good marriage!!!

Libyan Roots

“How do you feel about your Libyan roots and how has it affected you as a person and how did it influence your upbringing in a western country? Also what were the advantages/disadvantages of having different roots from the rest?"

I still say I wish I was Libyan if you know what I mean. I am proud to be Libyan; a Libyan American. My Libyan side of me has not emerged until recently. Let’s say I haven’t been Libyan until about a couple years ago. My Libyan Arabic has improved, I understand the culture better, I understand the people better and I truly have appreciated my culture so very much. During my teenage years, I was not interested in my culture and lived like I was an American. I did not appreciate the Arabic language or their cultural practices. I wanted to live one way and my parents wanted to me to live another. I never understood why my parents and other Arab immigrants did the things they did. I never agreed with anything they said or did regarding Arab etiquette and customs. Many things were difficult to comprehend. I was used to the American way from my friends, television, books, etc. My parents and others like them were of course always finding fault in what I do. It was all very frustrating. The more they tried to change me the more I resisted. My mentality was already established as an American and I wasn’t about to change. My mind was made up. I wanted to marry from here, live here forever, and live the American dream/life. I hated the Arab mentality; women and men alike. I hated Arab men. I hated the way they regarded women. I felt that they had no respect and no compassion for other humans especially women. I wanted nothing to do with them or their culture. This was what I thought for the majority of my teen years until I went to Libya for the first time. My way of thinking quickly changed. I started to embrace my Libyan heritage and customs. I enjoyed the traditions and felt a deep connection with the country and people. From then on I wanted to learn everything about Libya. My Libyan Arabic got better. I started reading poems in Arabic and watching television in Arabic. I conversed with more Arab people even though I still felt oddly uncomfortable. Trust me people have told me I don’t fit in with Arab speaking gatherings but at least I can say I tried. If I was to marry I now want to marry a man who was born and raised in Libya inshallah and I might even like to live there for some time. Slowly I am beginning to understand the way they think and why they do what they do. Many people are shocked when I tell them this, saying they didn’t think it was possible for me to change as much. I’m proud to say that I have changed for the better.

There are many advantages and disadvantages from having different roots then the rest of the western world. Sometimes I feel stuck in between and it’s hard to choose the path you want to follow at times. There are many things that clash and that I have to fight for. There are times I feel out of place in both American and Arab settings but I believe it’s always better to have an open mind and to learn the ways of other cultures besides your own. I can get along with both sides very well and I love how my mentality is mixed. I appreciate the things my Libyan culture has taught me and I appreciate the things America has taught me. All this makes me the person I am now and makes me that much more worldly. I feel there is no more room for ignorance and I feel truly blessed I got to experience two very different worlds. My experiences will be with me for life.

You Choose!

I thought why not let you all choose a topic for me to write about. If you have ever wondered what I thought about a certain subject now is your chance to let me know. I will then choose some topics that you give me and write what I think about them.

Thanks

Guess Who's Back!!

Yes, I am still alive and well. Thank you all for not forgetting me for I know I have not been updating my blog. I know many of you are dying to know what has happened and how I am doing and I want to thank you all for caring. I really do appreciate it. Now without further ado your favorite American Libyan hopefully is back in full swing.

Anyways I have been super busy with life. I have been finding myself. Learning about myself and getting a feel for what I really want in life. I have to say many of my priorities have changed. My perspective on marriage has changed greatly. Family is getting to be extremely important. My relationship with Allah has changed. I’m closer to Him and I feel a great connection with Allah. I found that duah is something that I can’t live without. The importance on career has dropped somewhat. I have been through so many new experiences. I’m growing up and it feels great. I really feel that I have a life. My own life. A life that I have a say in. I feel like finally people look at me as a woman instead of a little girl. Finally, I found the courage to step up to the plate. Finally, I have the courage to live my life. To have a say in my life. Finally, things are going to change, inshallah in my favor. I learned when you put your trust in Allah, when you really believe and put your heart and soul in it, things come out the way you want it to. Fear is part of everyone’s life but I now tell myself that everything inshallah is going to be okay.

Eid Mubarak To You All!!!!!!

Eid ul-Fitr is finally here. This Muslim holiday marks the end of Ramadan.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Ramadan and I wish you all a happy Eid!

Ramadan Kareem To You All!!!!!!

For all of you who are lucky to be alive in this great month of Ramadan you should know that this could be your last. I know it is a month of greatness and great reward for those who deserve it so I am here to remind everyone, me included, that we must not let this month pass us by.

This month is considered the most respected and blessed month of the Islamic calendar so we must put in the effort to refrain from the evil seven: anger, envy, greed, lust, backbiting, gossip, and sarcasm when it is not called for. Of course we must also refrain from speaking evil and staying away from obscene and profane sights and sounds. Sexual intercourse during fasting is forbidden as well as anything that leads to excitement (if you can’t control yourself). I for one know how hard it is to refrain from doing what you are used to doing whatever it is but it must be done. For those of you who are rolling your eyes; at least compensate by doing more good than you are used to.

We are encouraged to read the Quran, make duah, and put more of an effort to follow the teachings of our religion Islam. We must remember that during fasting we are fulfilling an order from Allah and at the same time bringing us closer to Him. This act of fasting is known to open our hearts to Islam and gives us comfort in knowing that the rest of the Muslim Ummah will be fasting with us. The act of fasting brings peace and inner calmness to our souls and frees us from harm. Fasting teaches us self-discipline and sacrifice, and gives us an understanding for those who are less fortunate. Because of this compassion and understanding we gain from fasting it allows us Muslims to be more generous and charitable.

I urge all of you and I to read the entire Quran in this blessed month, take part in the special prayers, called Taraweeh, contribute donations, and to remember what being a Muslim is all about.

Thank you.

I wish you all a happy Ramadan.